Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With Crepes

Aside from the United States, my favorite countries in World Cup soccer this month are Uruguay, Mexico, and South Africa. An interesting mix, you might say. But it isn’t diversity I’m going for. All three play France, and I’m rooting for anybody who plays France.

Back in November, the Republic of Ireland played a home-and-home playoff series against France to determine which team would get to play in the World Cup that starts this week in South Africa.

Ireland lost the first game in Dublin 1-0, and things looked bleak. But Ireland scored in Paris, and that second game had to go to over­time, since the teams were tied 1-1 on goals in aggregate. Things were looking good for the Irish — a goal in overtime or a win on penalty kicks after overtime would see them through to the World Cup tournament.

But then, in the 103rd minute, France got a not-very-dangerous free kick from about 45 yards out.

On the kick, two French players were off­side. That should have stopped the play right there. But the linesman missed it.

Then, as the kick was going over the end­line (which would have resulted in an Ireland goal kick), French forward Thierry Henry stuck his left hand out to stop the ball, and then hit it again with his left hand to control it, then kicked the ball (with his foot, this time) to a teammate who put it in an open goal.

For the record, that’s illegal in soccer. But apparently the referee didn’t see it, and neither did the linesman. (Either one could have made the call, but neither one was near­by.) Now, anyone can make a mistake in the heat of the moment. But Henry actually cheat­ed twice in the course of a second or two. Then he celebrated for a few moments with his team­mates while the Irish players screamed at the referee and the linesman.

To emphasize the point: Henry didn’t just allow the ball to touch his hand. He wouldn’t have been able to keep the ball in bounds with­out using his hand. And then for good measure he used his hand again, this time to guide the ball to his foot so he could pass it to his fellow Frog. (As Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby once said in similar circumstances on The Simpsons: I stand by my ethnic slur.) If you haven’t seen this travesty, just do a search for “Ireland France” on YouTube. as you’ll see, this isn’t a “controversial” play. It’s out-and-out thievery. There’s nothing contro­versial about it. Even Henry admitted it (later), as of course he had to, since much of the known world has seen the evidence. There were 17 minutes left in overtime, and we can’t say for sure what would have hap­pened. But the Irish were playing better than the French, and the Irish had momentum on their side.

They just didn’t think to use their hands. Go Uruguay. Go Mexico. Go South Africa.