Flummoxed in Foxborough

There are many things in this life that are difficult, if not impos­sible, to understand. Outer space, for instance: how can it go on forever? There has to be an end, doesn’t there? What’s at the end, a brick wall? Well if so, what’s behind the wall?

Well O.K., that’s too tough. Let’s tackle something a tad simpler. How come in every ad on TV the husband is portrayed as a hopeless, inept, stupid bungler and the wife can solve every problem with the snap of her fingers? That’s too tough also, you say? Let’s try an easier one. What could be easier than dealing with the cable company? I mean really, you’ve got the TV, the Internet, and the telephone bundled into a tidy lump, so what could go wrong? Well, let me tell you of my dealings with my friends at Comcast. A couple of years ago we signed up for the bundle and got TV, In­ternet, and telephone all for one price and got a two-year contract. I paid the monthly price of $130 for the first twelve months and on the thirteenth month the price jumped to $168. I called Comcast and was told that the second year of my contract was nullified be­cause I didn’t call and tell them I intended to exercise the second year option on the contract, so the pricing reverted to standard pric­ing. I argued strenuously and the young lady said, “Sir, let’s start all over with a new bundle contract.” Now friends, what happens next all transpired in a one-hour time frame. Ruby quoted me $138.89 and switched me to Kim for fi­nalization. Kim told me Ruby quoted the wrong price, that it should be $141.88. I was then switched to a supervisor named Pat who told me they were both wrong and that the price would be $146.03.

When I balked at this I was sent to the manager of customer ser­vice, Bob, who gave me yet another price of $148.94. At this point I became irrational and told Bob I was taking all their gear and dis­connecting

it and throwing it out in the snow. This struck a nerve evidently because he asked me to tell him the whole story again and this time he took notes.

At the end of my sordid tale Bob said, “Look, Mr. Crane, how much do you want to pay?” I told him I wanted my second year at $130 per month and he said, “Oh, O.K. then.” That was it. He wrote up a new deal for me at $130 per month and that was that. He gave me one piece of advice in closing. Come in to the service center a month or so before this deal expires so we can cook up a new one for you. Well eleven months go by and I head to Foxborough to play “Let’s Make a Deal.” A very nice lady quoted me a price of $151.94 but she said, “Don’t renew now. Wait until you’ve only got a couple of days to go on the old deal and check with me because we have new bundle pricing and special offers coming through all the time.” So I did just as she advised and two days before my deal was over I went in and she said, “We’ve had a price increase. Your new bundle is now $155.89.” I did a controlled burn and went through my entire history with Comcast in gory detail and I ended with, “I’m one confused old cowboy,” and she said, “You think you’re confused, you ought to try working here.”

I was now careening madly towards an apoplectic fit, when she said, “Let me work on this some more.” She then announced, “Hey, I found a way to back you into the $151.94 I had quoted you.” I thanked her and left after she assured me I was in the computer and I was golden.

Well, guess what, boys and girls? My bill arrived the other day and was it for $151.94? Nope, it was for $164.64; so over I went again. She told me to give her a check for the $164.64 and the com­puter will adjust everything for the next billing. Now tell me the truth, is there one person among you that thinks this tale will have a happy ending? So when you read about a de­ranged award-winning columnist who happens to be the poet laure­ate of Norfolk, running amok at Comcast over in East Foxborough, there’s a good chance it will be me.

You know, when you really stop and think about it, wouldn’t it be great if old time radio made a comeback? Well, maybe not great, but a heck of a lot simpler and cheaper, that’s for sure.

A Far Worse Situation

James Alensen was a fifteen-year-old student at Lincoln-Sud­bury High School. He had his whole life before him until he went into the boys room at school three years ago and was savagely mur­dered by a sixteen-year-old boy named John Odgren. Odgren, de­spite being very bright, was a special-needs student who was placed at Lincoln-Sudbury as part of a program known as “Great Opportu­nities.” He suffered from Asperger’s Syndrome and was also diag­nosed with anxiety, attention disorder, symptoms of bipolar disor­der, and depression. As part of Massachusetts’s policy of inclusion, every attempt is made to put special-needs students in regular schools and regular classrooms. It is also worth noting that this approach is less expen­sive than special schools. Odgren began to display aggressive behavior such as bringing knives to school, and it culminated in this tragic murder. It was vital Odgren be closely monitored when placed in such a large school, but it appears he wasn’t. Now there’s no doubt in my mind Odgren should have been removed from that school and put back into spe­cial schools. But to find him guilty of first-degree murder and to put him into the prison system doubles this tragedy. This boy belongs in a prison mental hospital, not in Cedar Junction. This is a far-reaching tragedy. Please consider the Alensen lad, and his family; Odgren with his terrible problems and his family; the school officials who dropped the ball by not removing him from this school; and the state of Massachusetts looking at dollars first and helping such youngsters second. What a tragic mess, and it should have been prevented.